iCupid
by ONNMillieT
Summary: "He was older than she'd thought he would be. Siri huffed; stupid dating site." –Wolfstar hints, muggle au, Fem!Sirius/Remus. A collaboration for the A Team Competition.


iCupid

_By Otaku Neko Ninja Miko Tenshi and NeverGetNakedInYourShower2._

**Happy New Year!**

* * *

He was older than she'd thought he would be.

The striking grey eyes of Serena 'Siri' Black flicked over the man's form from outside of the café, gazing curiously at his turned back through the window as he ordered a hot beverage. She knew that people often lied about their age on the internet, but _this_? The guy –Remus– was at least fifty!

Squeezing her eyes shut, Siri popped her lids open again and fanned away the white starbursts, her stare roaming over his crisp dress shirt, adorned with a small lion badge on the arm. That was him alright.

_'Fifty might be a bit of an exaggeration,' _she thought with a step away from the faintly-frosted glass _'But **damn**.'_

The ravenette sighed lightly and ducked into the autumn shadows, glancing down at the screen of her smartphone to check the time whilst also subtly using the reflection to check him out when a handful of pedestrians passed by. Having arrived approximately ten minutes early, Siri had half-expected to be left waiting for another fifteen until her 'date' showed up, and yet here he was in all of his elder glory…

_'I don't want to see **too** eager, so that means that I've got to stand out here for another 300 seconds until I can go in. Great.'_ She huffed and leant against the wall for her flashback. _'Thanks, iCupid…'_

* * *

**xXx**

* * *

iCupid sounded stupid. It sounded like a bad site. It sounded as if it would inevitably lead to many bad things. So Siri clicked on it.

**iCupid, the place for all your dating needs!**

The words showed up on the screen in a nice cursive, prompting her to poke around the page. Apparently once you sign up, you could chat with people online then met up to go on a date and fall in love– blah, blah _blah_. She was only here because of her friend James' off-handed comment about her needing more friends. She'd show him!

Siri selected on 'Sign Up' and filled out her profile;

_Full Name: Serena 'Siri' Black_

_Age: 20_

_State: London_

_Interest: Friends_

_Favorite Color: Red and gold_

_Favorite Movies: Iron Man_

The list of categories went on – favorite animal, salary and so on. Without anything better to do, she filled out everything with the truth and nothing but the truth, pinning up a cheeky selfie for her avatar and waiting for someone to find her.

* * *

**xXx**

* * *

That mindset lasted for two hours worth of Google's "funny dogs" and then another thirty-minutes of bored yet nervous twitching until the young Black decided to take the reigns and hunt down her own friend without any search terms. _'What's the worst that could happen?'_

One brief glimpse of a French man's penis icon later, Siri was cringing and typing out for keys for 'Looking For: Friend, English'. The majority of the 'Friends' database consisted of females, she noted mildly, but her nose crinkled at how they were all the flowery type that she usually ended up butting heads with. Tomboy at heart, she switched out the filter of dead ends for a 'Males only' version.

Cue a string of daily facepalms throughout the full week at how desperate some of the Saturday night lads were.

"Do I not have anything better to do with my life?" she grumbled with a squint at the screen's mocking glow.

That's when she met _him_.

* * *

**xXx**

* * *

Siri made a vow. If this person –Remus Lupin, it said– wasn't good for her, then she was giving up on the site. He seemed good: he lived in London too, he like red and gold as well, and to top it all off, his favorite animal was a wolf (a good choice since they were _basically_ just big dogs. She later also mused on how the opinion was very ironic considering his namesake).

She started a chat.

**Hello?**

_Hello. Who are you? I'm Remus Lupin. _(Siri still giggled at the name)

**Serena Black.**

_Serena. Pretty name._

**Thanks.**

_So what do you like?_

**Avengers.**

_Avengers? I've never heard of them._

**Really? Spiderman? Iron Man?**

_Oh, I guess I have heard of them, but I've never seen them._

**Oh my god.**

_Sorry._

**You should be.**

_Maybe I'll watch it for you :). _

**Oh. **(His uncomfortable smiley should have been a turn off…)

**Well, what do you like? **(…So why was she still continuing the conversation?! _'This is what I get for skipping my dose of __caffeine. Yeah, that.'_)

_Reading._

**And…?**

_Animals. And children. _(Siri flinched away in disgust for a moment until she realised he meant it platonically. Cue an embarrassed laugh.)

**Aren't they the same?**

_That's what I always say!_

**You know, I think I like you, Remus Lupin.**

_I know. I like you too, Serena Black._

* * *

**xXx**

* * *

Their bi-weekly chats evolved into weekly ones, steadily sloping into a sardonic updates of Siri checking up on her profile whenever she had the time. Their interactions were painfully awkward, but the two gradually warmed up to each other, becoming more comfortable to the point where Siri could openly complain without scaring Remus off. She'd been curious about his lack of icon, but when questioned, he sheepishly admitted that his computer tech skills were less than adequate.

_'It was probably just a scam,' _Siri thought bitterly in reflection. _'Well, if nothing else, I can grab a coffee.'_

With that mantra in mind, the dark-haired lady brushed off her skinny jeans, tilted her chin up and strode proudly into the café – walking directly up to the booth where Remus was waiting.

"Sorry for the wait," she said, and that's when she got a close up of his face. Ultimately, the young woman chose to believe that the establishment's lights were unflattering from afar, and that- _'Actually, screw fifty-years-old, he's pretty attractive.'_

Smiling, the man rose and extended his hand.

"Remus Lupin," he introduced.

"Siri Black."

* * *

**xXx**

* * *

"Wait, so you actually dropped his phone into the oil?" Siri asked, half laughing. Remus nodded. "Oh my god! Wow."

"He called me gay! I'm sensitive to those things, what else was I supposed to do?"

"I don't know, I just I didn't think you were the type who would do that. I would though."

A smirk curled the corners of her mouth when Remus' mouth fell open belatedly at the first half of her sentence, spluttering over the steam of his latte and nearly relinquishing the hold on his sandwich. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

"If you think I'm saying that you're a pussy, then yes."

"…Siri Black, I have never in –my _lifetime_– met anyone like you."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

* * *

**xXx**

* * *

Furlined hood flipped up to defend her from the cold, Serena looked up at her companion with a genial grin. Her hip cocked out to the side when she twirled on her heel and folded her arms to conserve heat, Remus expectantly tipped his head to the side in invitation for her to speak.

"I don't know what I expected," she began "But today was actually quite fun!" As an afterthought, she observed the twilight with satisfied yawn. "I'm not entirely sure that we should have dropped by the park this late, though. At least it's just outside of my flat."

Remus returned her smile, eyes soft. "I enjoyed myself, too. Thank you for coming."

One light hug later, with Siri flushed lightly at the chill, the twenty-year-old waved as she jogged up to the first block. Only once she was at the door did she realise that Remus had used his long legs to keep up. She raised an eyebrow, causing his to rub the back of his head in embarrassment.

"Well this is awkward…" He cleared his throat and showed her some keys that were previously stored in his pocket. "Looks like we live in the same area."

"…You're kidding."

A beat passed. Then laughter.

"Come on then, stalker," Siri chirped as she hooked her arm with his. "I will accompany you to your floor on the assumption that you won't jump me before we get there. Warning ahead of time; I pack a mean punch!"

Remus chuckled.

* * *

_iCupid, a collaboration from ONNMillieT._

**_ONNMT ("No, this is Patrick."):_ Better last than never, right? :D /shot**

_**Millie: **_**In case you were wondering who wrote what, ONNMT did the first section, then we switched out and so forth.**

_**ONNMT:**_** Out of everyone taking part in the "A Team Competition", we're the last group to submit**—

_**Millie:**_** Nope! THIRD to last :D**

**_ONNMT:_ My bad; _third_-to-last (thanks!), but we made it before January 1st so it's still on time. Our original plan was to write a romance fic, but as you can see, this one-shot was oriented more around them being friends. In other words, you may take their relationship however you wish to~ ^_^**

**Thank you all for reading, we hope you enjoyed it! **

**Lots of love,  
-ONNMillieT (NeverGetNakedInYourShower2 &amp; Otaku Neko Ninja Miko Tenshi).**

**But more love from Millie.**


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